Welcome to the Bush Leagues, Manny Ramirez. Listen to the new voicemail that is sweeping the country! It's the best thing I've heard since that batty woman in Nebraska gave an historic anti-gay speech at a city council meeting.
After quitting on, oh, about half a dozen Major League teams, Ramirez (a.k.a. Manny Rodriguez) has now landed with the triple-A Sacramento River Cats, and the River Cats organization is hearing loud and clear from its fans. Because if there's one thing River Cats fans won't tolerate, it's long hair and performance enhancement drugs.